HOW DELAYING GRATIFICATION HAS CHANGED OUR LIVES

This is going to be a long one…so grab a coffee and get cozy! lol *Yes, I’m a fancy blogger who says “haha” and “lol” in my posts. Aren’t I such an amazing writer? 😉

I have wanted to talk on this subject for so long, but I’ve always been unsure of where to begin. I feel like some people who watch my videos or read my blog put me on a sort of “blogging pedestal” where all they see me as is a blogger who gets sent a ton of free stuff, is able to work from home, and values materialism over anything. I’m pretty sure those that have been following my life for a while along with my close friends know I’m the complete opposite to that. While I love getting free beauty/mom/fashion products (who doesn’t?), 90% of the time I give them away to friends/my Mom (LOL you should see her bathroom at home! It’s filled to the brim with my hand me downs). I’m not a big fan of clutter since we live in such a small apartment. Anyways, at first it was all really exciting! A new package would come in the mail from a brand and even Doug got excited to see what was inside. After a while the packages started piling up and the excitement wore off and I’ve realized that it’s all just stuff. It doesn’t pay the bills and it doesn’t make me happy like the memories I have with my family do. With that being said, if there was one lesson I’ve learned in 2016/2017 is that delaying gratification is the single most important thing I contribute to success and happiness.

**^^KILL ME NOW those baby hairs!! And I’m not talking about Annabelles…

Blouse c/o Pink Blush (Similar) | Leggings | Earrings c/o | Annabelle’s Bow c/o | Top & Pants | Shoes

You guys, I’ve completely fallen back in love with blogging. I’ve missed it so much! I stopped for a while because my channel receives way more views that my blog, but who cares! If I love it I’m going to continue doing it. That’s part of my new motto for 2018.

Throughout the past year, I’ve poured countless hours into reading and listening to podcasts from entrepreneurs, businessmen, thought leaders, etc. and not only that, but also Dave Ramsey of course. I feel like a broken record when I mention his name to you guys, but he has truly changed our way of thinking 10000% and if it weren’t for me finding him last year, our lives would have been dramatically different for the worse. Anyways, after listening to all of these different people and their journey towards financial freedom and success I’ve found a common theme: delaying gratification needs to be second nature.


Many of them came from nothing so it was easy for them to do this. As they were building their businesses or starting their careers, they didn’t have social media to compare themselves to others. The world we live in now is entirely different and just because I’m a blogger/vlogger myself doesn’t mean I’m immune to it. It is so very hard to not take out a car loan for the sake of driving around in a nicer car. It’s hard to not take a vacation in Hawaii when you see your friends are going. It’s hard to not purchase the best of the best baby gear because it has the highest reviews. It’s hard to live in a 2 bedroom apartment when you could actually rent a house instead, but you know saving is more important. In my opinion it’s all “hard” because of social media and our society today. When we paid off our student loans in full this year we had to adopt another way of thinking: DELAYED GRATIFICATION gets you to your end goal. I thought this notion would stop after we paid off our debt and we could then let loose a little, but to my surprise, we have continued it on months after and aren’t planning on stopping until we reach our next goal of financial freedom: to be able to work for ourselves and live wherever as a family!

For the past year that meant driving old cars, not buying new things, not upgrading our place of living, and so many other things. So many of you ask how we did it in such a short amount of time and the answer is simple…don’t buy unnecessary stuff! I remember getting a comment on a video saying “It’s easy for her to say, she gets sent things for free and doesn’t have to buy anything.” Look, me getting sent beauty products or a blouse doesn’t help in the long run because I wouldn’t have purchased those things anyways so I think that’s just an easy way to dismiss the fact that you can actually do it. It’s all a mindset. You have to shift your way of thinking entirely. If that means unsubscribing from Nordstrom emails, not driving down a certain street in your town because you know you’ll want to go to the mall, or putting your paycheck in envelopes and paying for everything in cash for the time being, then it’s 100% worth it in the long run. When you start to truly believe that your happiness only comes from one place and one place only, internally, then you’ll be free from the desire to overspend and so many other possibilities will pop up out of no where. Since we’ve adopted this way of thinking, I’ve spend much less time on social media (it’s a good and bad thing since it is part of my job), haven’t been inside a mall in over a year, am highly selective on what I purchase for myself, and have realized that I’d rather have my money work for me than me for it! We asked ourselves after we paid off our debt and had our emergency fund a few months ago “What is next? Investing? Buying new cars? Buying a house?” It was then we realized that none of those things would truly make us truly happy.

There was only one thing that we would think of that so many people dismiss as a possibility and it was to be financially free. Find a way to work for ourselves and work towards that goal. So, that’s what we’re doing. I know that’s vague and part of it has to do with the Mom and baby brand we’re launching and the other part will take some time, but the point of this message is to let you all know that paying off debt/student loans/car loans/credit card bills, etc. wasn’t the end for us, it was just the beginning. Comparison truly is the thief of joy and delayed gratification opens up so many possibilities!

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25 Comments

  1. Tammi
    December 14, 2017 / 5:54 am

    Hayley, you inspire me. Thank you for that!

  2. Katie
    December 14, 2017 / 7:22 am

    Thank you for this reminder while we pay things off and have high medical bills with a special needs kid. He was denied life insurance this week because of his pretty mild CP and it made me want to strive to always be able to care for him financially even in the future (I’m currently a student and SAHM of two). He could even have a great job as an adult with a family but I feel like we need to always be able to help out. It definitely puts things into perspective and realize what’s most important. Being successful isn’t just about money but being able to take care of your loved ones and experience financial peace!

  3. Shannon
    December 14, 2017 / 8:31 am

    This was much needed! Especially in this Christmas season, thank you Hayley!

  4. Jordan
    December 14, 2017 / 11:09 am

    LOVED this! For sure a great thing to really think about in the holiday season. <3

  5. Flor Coronado
    December 14, 2017 / 11:14 am

    What a great post! It reminded me of what truly matters and what we actually need right.now as a family.

  6. Nicole
    December 14, 2017 / 11:25 am

    This post is so inspiring! Watching you pay off your student loans was a wake up call for me. My husband and I really don’t need to buy a house right away. We need to be debt free. You inspired me to give up on the unnecessary house hunt and get those loans paid off!

  7. December 14, 2017 / 11:33 am

    This is so incredibly impowering to read. I’m a blogger & a mos vlogger/YouTuber & I have a lot of the same goals you do. Your story of paying everything off, living simply and bacoming your own boss is something I’m striving to become. You are an inspiration to me, for sure. Thank you for writing this.

  8. December 14, 2017 / 11:34 am

    Love this blog post! My husband is in finance and is so much better at doing this than I am but I have been trying so hard to change my mindset and you are helping me so much! Thank you for being realistic.

  9. December 14, 2017 / 11:44 am

    I started listening to Dave Ramsay because of you and omg it really does change your life! Since I started listening to him early this year we’ve paid off both our cars, I’ve dropped my prices iPhone, we’ve dropped cable AND WiFi and paid off medical bills saving us $11K per year! My husband doesn’t have to work overtime on fridays anymore and we spend that time doing family things together which is most important to me! It’s because I stopped buying anything unnecessary and took control of my finances. And the delayed gratification is honestly GOLD!

  10. Andrea Evers
    December 14, 2017 / 11:44 am

    I needed to read this! Thank you so much for being so real and always telling it like it is- it’s refreshing.

  11. Stormy
    December 14, 2017 / 11:54 am

    Thank you for writing this. It’s exactly what l needed to hear. It’s hard to stay focused when everyone around you spends money like they have so much. But then l remember that my husband and l are the only people l know that have our home as our only debt. We drive older cars and have no credit cards! We’ve come such a long way. We’ve paid off close to 60,000 dollars in 3 years thanks to Dave Ramsey. He really is a life changer. Again, thank you for being real and showing us, your followers that you are just like the rest of us! Btw, Annabelle is absolutely beautiful!

  12. Sandy
    December 14, 2017 / 1:04 pm

    Absolutely amazing 😉 it is definitely very inspiring I love watching your Vlogs you have a beautiful family. I really needed this it helps a lot! I look forward to reading more of your blogs 😊

  13. Isamar
    December 14, 2017 / 1:15 pm

    This is so inspiring and a wakeup call for me. We are in the middle of saving as well. But with a baby on the way it can be hard. Though, reading this has renewed my desire to keep saving and spending less. Thank you for continuing to keep it real, so often many bloggers/vloggers seem like mini celebs with no struggles. But you’ve always been real and genuine. So thank you for that.

  14. Heather
    December 14, 2017 / 1:27 pm

    This is the first time I’ve visited your blog and I find it too ironic that this is the post I stumbled across. We took the Dave Ramsey course a couple years ago at our church and we were following it exactly, we paid off $20k in debt that year. But life happens, society’s pressures seep in and here we are more in debt than when we started. With Christmas comes so many extra expenses and it really hit hard that we need to make a change and make it PERMANENT this time around. We actually just sat down and did our allocated spending plan for the rest of this month and I’m excited for our future! Continue to inspire those around you!

  15. Maciel Gaeta
    December 14, 2017 / 1:33 pm

    Great post Hayley! So inspiring! <3

  16. December 14, 2017 / 2:03 pm

    This is truly speaking to me. My husband and I downsized from a two bedroom to a one bedroom this year to be able to save more money while we both finish school. We also stopped buying unnecessary things and going out to eat every week and its changed my life because I understand now that I don’t need all of that stuff. Also, we have one of our cars completely paid off, yay! Such a great post Hayley!

    Hope | Miss Hope Elizabeth

  17. Emily
    December 14, 2017 / 2:58 pm

    Hayley,
    I found your channel about a ago and enjoyed your energy and sarcasm 😂 but what makes you my favorite youtuber is your drive and focus on TRUE happiness. I’m newley married and working towards my PhD in chemistry. I chose this career because it makes me over the moon happy, and am so excited that I can build a career that works for me and make enough money to help my family live a safe and happy life. We love planning for the future and being careful and smart with our my money. You two are such a breath of fresh air and i am so happy for you and excited to watch you build your dream life together ❤

  18. Araina Evans
    December 14, 2017 / 6:01 pm

    LOVE THIS!! I’ve been following your YouTube channel for the last few months. My baby girl is almost 5 months old and I’m a stay at home mom so I first fell in love with your baby updates and cleaning routines! But now I just can’t wait for you to upload anything because I love your little family and your honesty! From the outside looking in, it does seem like it would be different to be in your position so I love how real you are about what you feel and how life really is for you! I just found your blog a few weeks ago. I tried the cookie recipe (AMAZING!!). I’ve made them for my husband twice already and he loves them! We’re chocolate chip cookie lovers too lol. Anyways, because of you, I put us on the envelope system and it has been really good so far! My goal is to pay off my car and student loan debt and then get our emergency fund saved up. Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to say thank you for being so open and honest because I can imagine it’s not so easy at times, but just know that you’re definitely inspiring people out there! ❤️

  19. Mary
    December 14, 2017 / 6:47 pm

    What a wonderful and important post! I think it’s unfortunate that the topic of money/finances is thought to be “taboo” in our society because in my opinion we should all be talking much more openly about it! Finances affect every aspect of life whether we like to think so or not and we can help each other so much by sharing our tips and strategies. Thank you for sharing this part of your lives with us. As always, you never fail to inspire while still remaining completely relatable. A balance that not many other bloggers can strike! You are truly such a gem! Xoxo

  20. December 14, 2017 / 8:53 pm

    This post was so timely for me! My husband and I generally like to live the “scorched earth” life you talk about, leading all our friends and family to think we’re the cheap weirdos 😂 paid for, old af cars, a house with the cheapest (a small fraction of most peoples rent) mortgage ever and so on and so forth. I carried around some credit card debt for most of my 20’s and have slowly paid it off. Lately, I’ve been having a rough time watching all of our friends “live the high life” and it seems like we’re often left in the dust. This post made me remember that we’re on the right track. Thank you!

  21. Robyn
    December 15, 2017 / 5:26 pm

    This was a great post!
    Comparison truly is the thief of joy and it’s so easy to get caught up in it. I think my goal for 2018 is to really work on that.
    I’m so glad to hear you going to start blogging steadily again. I still really enjoy reading your posts as well as watching your channel.

    Merry Christmas!

  22. Simran
    December 18, 2017 / 4:18 pm

    Hi Hayley,
    Your such a inspiration. I was so much into this post as I have people around me who judge you how much expensive stuff you have in your house and so on. Because of this I was always in pressure to get better things but never felt happy . But this post really helped to overcome those thoughts and worries. Plz do share more posts like this
    Thanks and love
    Simran
    Australia 🇦🇺

  23. Kaitie
    December 18, 2017 / 7:31 pm

    Definitely what I needed to read going in to this new year. You go girl! I found your vlogs when I was pregnant this past year, and I absolutley fell in love with you and your personality. Stay true to yourself, and good luck with everything that is about to come your way. Merry Christmas Guys!

  24. December 28, 2017 / 7:27 pm

    This is so true! This is such a great way to put it.
    Dave Ramsey is truly the best! I’ve saved so much money because of his ways haha

    Paula
    sensefulstyle.com

  25. January 2, 2018 / 5:13 am

    Very thoughtful post and so true! I bought the Dave Ramsey book and he definitely helps shift your mindset toward money. I agree that social media and advertising make it extra hard not to but stuff. I think if it weren’t in our faces so much, we wouldn’t feel the need to spend money on certain things. At the end of the day, exercising self control is a must if you want to be financially free. I think we can mistakenly look at it as restricting, but it’s actually a very freeing feeling to not be a slave to material items and to be able to CHOOSE what you want to spend your money on.

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