HOW I FIND MOTIVATION OUTSIDE OF MOTHERHOOD

I’m not going to lie, finding the motivation to do literally anything else besides watch your two kids all day is HARD! For the first few months of Scarlett’s life (and off and on still), most days I consider taking my makeup off at the end of the day a win let alone doing something to pursue my goals. Before I had children, I had endless aspirations. I wanted to grow my platforms to a place where I can start my own business (I still do), bring in a substantial income for my family while working from home, and I wanted to give my all to motherhood. After I actually had both my children (especially after having Scarlett), I recognized that these years where my children are tiny are fleeting and the clock was constantly ticking until they are in school full time.

Suddenly I’m faced with the fact that I won’t be a mother to two tiny babies for much longer and that made me question my reality and what I really wanted. I asked myself  “Was having these big goals even worth time spent away from them? Could I defer my goals until they were older? Would being a full time SAHM fulfill me or would I go nuts?” Two months ago I wrote a full on pros and cons list because it seemed like all my motivation had been zapped. I was in a crossroads.

At the end of my list I realized that the ultimate question I had to ask myself was “Is it worth putting my toddler in school/daycare to advance my dreams while carving out a better life for her and my family?” I’m going to be real with you guys, putting her in school this young is hard (as you can tell from my last video I’m still struggling with the decision). Ultimately, it’s so I can pursue my dreams and not be as stressed, but at first it felt like a selfish decision on my part. Then I started to examine my days and realized that a large portion of my day was spent dwelling on all the stuff I had to get done rather than being the best Mom I could be. I was juggling my job while juggling being a mother and neither one was done at 100%.

Inevitably I took out my stress on those closest to me at the end of the day and I wasn’t leaving any time for self care. I was drained and felt like a rat trapped in a wheel. Every night I’d talk with Doug about what to do and every night I’d come up with a plan to give me more time only to wake up and achieve only half of what I had planned. One day I came across this quote in a book and I immediately wrote it down. It sounds simple enough, but it really stuck with me.

If you want things to change, you must change.” -Jim Rohn

I’ve always told myself not to settle for less in life and putting up with things for years without doing anything about it was what I feared most out of life. So many people always say they are going to do something to improve their life, but many of them never do and I was using motherhood as my excuse, just like people use the excuses of not having time, money, resources, etc. I kept telling myself that “two kids is so hard” or “they leave me with no time to think let alone act”.

I realized that those became my mantras every. single. day.

I made it a point to break through that mental block not only for myself, but for my kids. I want them to see that reaching your goals is possible as a wife and mother, but that even moms deserve happiness and not all of that comes from their kids. It’s okay.

I’ve learned that you need to teach life how to treat you.

If you want to be treated  better and with prosperity, you have to gain control of your situation and not let it control you. If not, keep doing what you’re doing. 

If you want more money, you have to demand a higher income by becoming a highly skilled and indispensable person. If you want to be around better people and places, you’ve got to make an extra effort to get to that position. 

At the end of the day I realized, you get what you tolerate. What do you tolerate? Is it good enough or can you do better? 

All in all, my motivation comes from my kids. It comes from the fear that I won’t be fulfilled as a SAHM and admitting and accepting that to myself has made me feel free. It comes from knowing I can and will take control of my life and what I wish to improve rather than waiting 10+ years until they are out of school while feeling frustrated everyday along the way.

A huge help in all this has been incorporating our businesses in our family life. From every entrepreneurial book I’ve ever read, one of the biggest themes in each is “there’s no such thing as work life balance” because if you go full bore with something, inevitably the other isn’t going to be as focused on. So long as you always come back to the other, it’s how things stay afloat. Many of you see us vlog and we are always together, but those are of course the days I choose to film;) Much of our lives is spent behind a computer working away at our online businesses in between the spare moments and a huge help with all this has been baby wearing. I wore Annabelle for at least the first year to get things done around the house when Doug was at work. While we loved the carrier we used for her, it unfortunately broke so I’ve been wrapping Scarlett around the house and just recently switched to this carrier by Contours Baby because it’s so easy to use! It’s much simpler than the first carrier we used with Annabelle because it only has two clasps at the front instead of several so slipping her in and out is so easy. Not only does it help me get things done when she naps, but I love wearing her to the grocery store, to run errands, and I even vacuum the house each evening with her in it! It’s a life saver.

I also love that it has 5 carrying positions to grow with baby, the Journey 5-in-1 baby carrier seat width adjusts as she grows, and supports her legs and hips in a hip-healthy position. It also has a few pockets and a cotton and jersey mesh material making it super comfortable fit! I’d highly recommend it to any new Moms and both Doug and I agree it’s been our most comfortable carrier thus far because since no infant insert is needed, you get direct skin to skin contact all the time and it has an adjustable waistbands so its even comfortable for dads!

So, where do you get your motivation from being a Mom? I’d love to hear!

*A big thank you to Contours Baby for sponsoring this blog post!

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