One Month With Annabelle

Dress c/o | Annabelle’s Bow

This past month has been a whirlwind of emotions, sleepless nights, and pure bliss. There are so many things that I want to document with Annabelle’s progression so I guess I’ll start from the beginning. Once we brought Annabelle home we were in Heaven. I seriously stared at her all night, not worrying about my sleep or if I was getting enough food. All I could think about was how perfect she is and how blessed we are! I couldn’t have dreamed up this level of happiness. The moment she looked into my eyes after she was born was the best moment of my life. I’ve never been more obsessed with another human being and the true meaning of motherhood finally resonates with me now. It’s an indescribable feeling that I could never have fathomed before she was born. Within the past month I’ve completely changed as a person. Now that my postpartum hormones have calmed down and I feel more myself (more on that later), my outlook on life has totally shifted. I definitely feel more of a sense of belonging in this world and a purpose beyond myself.

Okay, enough of the sappy stuff;) Onto how she is doing! Annabelle really is such a perfect little baby! I know all Moms say this and she’s only one month old so I can’t really say much, but she is rarely fussy unless she needs something (i.e. diaper changed, feeding, burping, etc.) and I swear she already smiles for Doug and I (or maybe that’s just gas;)! She reminds me so much of Doug and I love that. Breastfeeding is way more work than I thought! It’s mentally and physically draining. It’s more challenging than pregnancy or even labor! Being up all hours of the day/night being at your little one’s beck and call and the soreness you face at first, but I know it’s all worth it and I’ve made it my mission to give her the very best if I can. We’re trying to soak in these newborn moments because everyone is telling us they go by in the blink of an eye!

More on my recovery…

  • C-Section healing: My healing so far has been amazing. I just got my sutures out last week and the scar is way smaller than I thought! I still feel a little pain/ discomfort, but I think by this time next week I’ll feel back to normal!
  • Postpartum Hormones: They were CRAZY on day 3 and 5 postpartum. I seriously thought someone should have me committed! Okay, not really, but my Mom had to slap some sense into me because all I did was cry. I cried from just looking at her and I could barely stand to see her get her diaper changed because seeing her even whimper would send me over the edge. Thankfully that has all passed and I no longer cry at the drop of a hat anymore…hallelujah!
  • Weight loss: Down 12lb. and I have another 15 to go! Although I rarely think about how I look as my constant concern is how Annabelle is doing.
  • Appetite: I never thought this would be a postpartum symptom, but my appetite disappeared after giving birth! I swear I want to eat less than before I even got pregnant. I don’t crave any foods, only water. I know you’re suppose to eat 300 extra calories a day to keep up your milk supply so I make sure to still eat as much as I can!

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2 Comments

  1. Naomi
    January 25, 2017 / 2:42 pm

    Hi Hayley!

    Please don`t give up breastfeeding if it`s so important to you. I `ll tell you my similar story, but
    first I want to apologise for my english. I’m from Austria but I hope I can eplain myself good enough.
    Like I said, I have been in a very similar situation with breastfeeding my first child, Sarah, who now is a happy healthy 7 year- old.
    I can really understand what you are going through. I had the same feelings, very frustrated but very determined to breastfeed. My nipples blead, I even had to go back to hospital because of mastitis. Because the antibiotics I had to take I feed her only formula for 2-3 days, but got back to breastfeeding.
    Like your little one, my daughter seemed not to gain enough, she also loved it to be on the breast not only for feeding. I too had to supply with formula, I hated it, and I used Soya- formula. I also wanted to avoid nippleconfusion, so I used a similar sistem you have. That was heavy!
    But I was very determined, like you, and did not gave up on breastfeeding. What I did was to feed her both breasts first and than formula with that sistem. So we managed to gain weight. At the age of 3months I talked to a friend, about my frustration about not beeing able to breastfeed only. She encouraged me to try one day without formula. I did, it worked, and I from than on was able to breastfeed only until diversification. I breastfeed her, and we both enjoyed it very much, until the age of almost 2 years, when I got pregnant again. I am sure, she was a lazy drinker…she felt asleep on the breast, but did not let go, so after a while, the milk came again, she hed to start drinking again, felt asleep, and so on, so that she never got enough, but was also never really hungry.

    With my second baby, a boy called Matheo, I feared the same problems, took a lactations product from France, but I was less stressed about breastfeeding. Matheo had a perfect latch from the beginning. He feed for only about 10 minutes, but he took it seariously. That was enough, we had no porblems at all with breastfeeding. So, what shell I say?
    I now am sure that with Sarah the problem was not that I had not enough milk. But I think it was the whole situation.
    With my experience now, I would say that you have enough milk, but that Annabell ´loves to be on the breast. That`s not necessarily bad, but I think she is never really hungry, because she gets milk all day long. It is like you were eating all day long, here a bite, there a bite, never beeing really hungry. When you feed her formula she has to take it seariously, because it comes so fast. And, of course, she gains weight.

    I would recomand you to feed her both breasts but not for too long, let`s say 10 min each. Than you have to wait with breastfeeding, let`s say 2 hours at the beginning, but the goal should be 3 -4 hours. If you are afraid that she is hungry, breastfeed first, like I said, feed her formula with the sistem you have, for another 5- 10 min and than do a 3 hours break, so that she has enough time to get hungry. Try it for one days or two. Than look, if she had gained weight.
    If you are interested in the lactation product, I can look it up for you.
    I wish you all the best and hope you succeed.

  2. January 26, 2017 / 8:50 am

    You and Doug are doing such a great job with Annabelle! She is adorable and is so lucky to have the family that she does!
    Glad you are feeling more like yourself again!

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