Transitioning From One To Two Kids

This post has been a long time coming! The silence on my blog hasn’t been for nothing. Transitioning your family from one to two children is quite the life change for everyone involved. In today’s post I wanted to chat about some frequently asked questions, share with you a few things that have helped us all make the transition a bit smoother, and give a few tidbits of advice for any Moms expecting a second baby that I wish I had known.

For those that are new, my firstborn (Annabelle) was 22 months old when my second baby (Scarlett) was born just 2 months ago. I honestly had no idea what to expect. If you have been following our lives for a while now then you’ll know we are a co-sleeping, attachment parenting style family and although I had never in one million years expected us to turn out this way after raising our first it just happened. I was breastfeeding Annabelle right up until Scarlett’s birth and decided not to wean her right before her new sister arrived for fear it would cause an even greater shift to her life. I felt that breastfeeding provided a certain form of Mother daughter bonding and comfort to help her cope through the change and that it would help her. So, we continued on our nursing journey.

I’m constantly getting asked if I weaned Annabelle or if we are still co-sleeping and to be frank, up until now I didn’t want to get into the subject on my channel because there are so many strong opinions about it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned with putting my life online with my first born it’s to refrain from sharing too much when hormones are raging and you’ve just had a baby! I took a bit of a break and I’m so happy I did. I wish I would have just focused on my family and less on sharing every emotion and intimate detail of my life with my firstborn, but what can I say? I’m a natural over-sharer and it definitely comes with pros and cons.

As much as I don’t regret anything and honestly when you become a parent you learn something new every single day, I do wish I had known a few things before embarking on this two under two journey.

  1. 2 under 2 is NO joke. They are just about 2 years apart almost exactly if that gives you any time reference. I completely underestimated how “little” Annabelle would be at 2 years old when deciding on having a second baby. I look at her now and realize she’s still a baby herself! Although she walks, has independent play, and can talk back, she’s still very much a baby. It’s like raising 2 babies at the same time. With that being said, I do believe it will be worth it in the end when they are close in age and can have a built in friend for life. Changing two kids diapers isn’t that bad either. Well, it’s not as annoying as people say at least!;)
  2. The choice to keep breastfeeding Annabelle (even if only twice a day) definitely came at a price. The first few weeks of Scarlett being home were rough. I hands down went through the most intense emotional time of my entire life. The guilt I felt as a Mom was almost unbearable. This was probably due to my hormones coming down after giving birth, but it was insane. I could see Annabelle felt differently towards me and the eagerness to breastfeed her suddenly stopped (on my end out of the blue). I never knew this would happen so I can’t blame myself, but once Scarlett came into this world I no longer wanted to nurse my firstborn. It was the strangest thing and the guilt overwhelmed me. Luckily it took only a few weeks to feel almost normal again, but I still feel saddened that I have to constantly nurse Scarlett and can’t tend to Annabelle as much, although it is getting much better. Annabelle isn’t as jealous of nursing as she was at first and she’s grown to adore her sister with kisses and hugs all day!
  3. Watching two children is a lot more challenging at first than it looks. It literally took me 30 minutes to get out of the mall parking lot today! Between nursing Scarlett in the backseat, changing both girls, bribing Annabelle to sit down, and doing an outfit change for Scarlett, it was intense. You really have to have a sense of humor because you will look like a mess at times! Hence why we opted for the minivan (life savor!). Doug goes “back to work” three days a week this week for our businesses (aka he goes to the library) and I’ll be in charge of the girls alone. I’m borderline terrified!! But I know it takes practice.

Scarlett is perfect in everyway and God knew just what he was doing by putting her in our lives. She is the easiest baby and sleeps through the night (co-sleeping again), is fully breastfed, and smiles up a storm! She’s brings such a light in all of our lives even her wild sisterJ Motherhood can be a rollercoaster sometimes (at least for me), but if it’s anything it sure is rewarding.

*This post was sponsored by Aeroflow Breastpumps.

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2 Comments

  1. February 15, 2019 / 10:16 am

    It took about three months for things to feel normal with two under two for me. You got this! Now that Little A is starting to walk there’s a whole new set of challenges. But then the oldest will go to pre-K.

    I’m not crying, you’re crying.

  2. Megan Jayne
    February 23, 2019 / 4:00 am

    Thanks for this Hayley. I’m due our second baby in August, a little boy so excited but it feels crazy to have them so close at the same time. My daughter will only just have turned 19 months when he is born so it’s a very similar age gap to your two. It’s nice reading your opinion and any tips/advice you have on two under two at least I know you survived lol

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